I want God now, not in the future, not later but right now. I find myself picking out a verse in 1 Corinthians 4:5. This verse tells me that I should not make any hasty or premature judgments about when God is going to show up. Well if that is the case, I have already failed because I can’t stop thinking about when all this despair will end.

God is suppose to bring light in secret things that are now hidden in my darkness and finally disclose the secret to my purpose. The light should be full of good things. I can only ask God to give me a blessing right now and protect me from this depressive state.