I have never been closer to God in my own personal relationship than any other time in my life. It is so hard to have hope when you are facing so many challenges even when God is in your life to the full capacity. I just don’t understand what God wants me to do as his servant and the more I try to overcome and learn how to be steadfast in God’s journey for me, I find myself again and again trying to understand when all God wants me to do is trust in his understanding and not my own. The world is a difficult place and trying not to fear the next day or week is an extreme challenge for me right now. I pray that I would stop taking back control from God and that he would reveal to me what he wants me to do while I am being patience leaning on his grace and love for me.