“What strength do I have left, that I should wait and hope? And what is ahead of me, that I should be patient?” Job 6:11
My hope disorder is in full swing placing a heavy weight on my shoulders. My strength is limited and the waiting of what is to come torments my mind. I have been patiently waiting for the fog to lift and am demanding that God will finally lift the fog to show me the way. My thoughts have been full of hopelessness. As I pray to God and receive no answer my heart falls into despair.
When life seems hopeless I am troubled with continuing on in this journey. In order for my soul not to fall entirely I am reaching for whatever I can. God is my last option as I have tried everything else in my search for relief.
“When I hoped for good evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness. My heart is troubled and does not rest; days of affliction come to meet me. ” Job 30: 26-27
Every time I hope for good to come another hit in the gut I receive. I truly think I can see the light at the end of a long ass tunnel but the light quickly fades away. My heart is showing distress and anxiety and is constantly in turmoil; days of constant pain and suffering come to meet me. This is an exhausting state to be in and I am tired.
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